I have two requirements when I plan out my holiday projects. 1) They must be easy. B) They must be cheap. And by cheap, I don’t mean like less than $50. I mean ideally less than $2. I want to buy one or two items at the dollar store, throw a little glitter or glue on top, and call it a night. I want my $2 bottle of wine to cost more and last longer than the project takes. I don’t want to have to open the second bottle of two buck chuck. That just triples my project cost.

Somehow, somewhere along the line, I lost my attention span. You’d think with all the projects I’m constantly doing, that I’d have a little more patience with making projects. You’d be wrong. I must have wasted all my patience on the twenty-five plus years of project-making. I’d like to claim a little ADD is responsible for this mess of a brain, but that would just be to get myself some adderall. Kidding guys….

I want my projects to be easier to complete than my mother stealing my trick-or-treating candy from me as a child. You all know the story, I’m sure your pathetic excuses for parents did the same thing to you. “Oh, Johnny! Before you eat any of that candy, I need to inspect it. You know, for razor blades and poison, things like that.” Somehow, every year without fail, all of my tootsie rolls were poisoned! Ugh the nerve of our neighbors! You’d think I grew up in the projects.

Put down your tootsie rolls for a second and let me tell you about this super simple Halloween DIY project. Buy a pillar candle from the dollar store, and a bottle of Matte Black spray paint ($.98 at Walmart). If you don’t have sticker letters at home, you’ll need a pack of those too. Stick the letters on, spray the candle black, wait for it to dry (this is about the time my patience is tested), and pull the stickers off. Yup. That easy.

Now back to the tootsie rolls.