You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

Why not? How much sense does that make? So you’re saying you’re going to put a piece of cake in front of my face and tell me that I can’t eat it too? I mean, that just doesn’t make much sense. Unless of course you’re planning on replacing the cake with a cheeseburger. Then it makes more sense, and I won’t eat the cake. Can I please have a 32 oz beer with that cheeseburger too? Or fine, I’ll settle for an ice-filled Pepsi. Oh, and I’d like fries too. The good kind, maybe curly fries? Ketchup too, don’t forget. And since I’m getting a cheeseburger, can it please have extra pickles? Maybe a few sliced on the side as well. I won’t go overboard or anything, but please don’t forget that I like my burgers medium. Unless it’s a really good restaurant, in which case I like medium rare. I am not trying to be high maintenance either, but I will need extra napkins just in case it’s a good juicy cheeseburger. And just a note: I love good juicy cheeseburgers. You’re the best. Have I told you that today?

So now that you know what I want for my birthday (I mean, how much easier could it be?), what do you want for yours? Oh, a card you say? I can do that! And easily too. Don’t worry, even though it will only take me five to ten minutes to make this card, I’ll make it last at least twenty just so you get good sweat and tears out of it. I wouldn’t want you to feel ripped off. Especially since you gave me that amazingly juicy perfect cheeseburger.

I’ll just take white cardstock, fold it in half, cut it to size. I’ll take two different pieces of designed paper and cut them to size as well (one slightly smaller than the other), and glue them to the cardstock. Then I’ll take a one inch strip of the bottom paper and glue it atop the card. I’ll take three different colored candles, tie a little bow around them, and hot glue them to the card. See, like I said, easy and fast! I mean…..long. It took me forever. I put good sweat into it. Don’t worry though, I didn’t drip any onto the card. Because it’s the perfect card for you.