We’ve all been there at one point. All of our friends were having babies while we were just trying to get through the day on a cup of coffee (or a shot of tequila). The babies were cute, the stories were adorable. But really, we were annoyed. We didn’t understand why every story revolved around the baby, or why every phone call had to involve the toddler.  Truth is, we didn’t understand why our worlds were so different.

I’ve been there, and I remember it distinctly. I remember feeling slighted when I didn’t get my normal after work call, or my yearly birthday card. I remember being sad that I didn’t feel connected to my best friend anymore, or feeling so different that we had nothing in common. It’s a sad realization, and one that doesn’t go unnoticed. We can’t pretend that this transition is smooth for everyone, because it isn’t. It’s why most new moms find new mom friends, or other women that are in their same point in life. It’s why the phone calls lessen, and the visits diminish. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

I’m here to tell you that even after we have kids, we miss you. We miss our friendships, we miss our nights out with you. We want you back, we want our relationship back. If we get a card or a letter from you, our hearts break. We think about you all the time, if not daily. Even if you don’t feel like you’re still our best friend, you are. Because while you may have moved on, we haven’t. The only person that has taken your place is that tiny little bundle of joy, and while that bundle is absolutely adorable (and the best thing that has ever happened to us), it is most certainly not ever taking your place (besides, it’s frowned upon to take tequila shots with a toddler). Our babies will never be able to spend hours talking to us on the phone, going through the events of the day. They’ll not understand why our bosses suck, or our boyfriends just don’t understand. They don’t understand how amazing it is when something goes our way, or how amazing we feel when we have a GOOD day. But you would. You’d understand.

So while it is not your fault that we have become someone new, I’m begging you to stick around. Don’t let go of our friendship because we are different, things are different. Stick around and show our babies why we love you. Form that relationship with them that we always hoped for (because there is absolutely nothing better to us than seeing our babies love you). Be there for us, even if we aren’t in the position to always be there for you. Trust me, the roles will be reversed at some point, and we will be there for you. If/when you’re in this same position, we will get it and we will be there with all the tips and help we can provide. Because we love you.

Call us. Write us a letter (bonus points for snail mail, because duh). Tell us that you are here for us. Bring over a bottle of wine and just hang out with us. Listen to the stories about the poop and the spit-up and the tantrums. Because one day we will do the same thing for you, because we love you.