Staying Home Sawyer

Real Life Living on a Real Life Budget

DIY

Tequila or Corona? Corona Please!

DIY Slice of Lime CardYou know you’re old when a lime slice turns your stomach. I think I spent at least three quality years taking shots of Patron with my friends on Saturday nights, and now the idea makes me sick. What is the magic age that this suddenly appears so incredibly unattractive of an idea that you think you’d rather change the oil in your car? I don’t think I would take a shot of tequila if someone paid me. It’s the worst. I’ll take the lime and put it in my Corona bottle instead.

Even though I’m clearly an old lady, I know some of my peers still can stomach the tequila. So when one of my friends had a birthday recently, I put together a Margarita Basket (next post). I wanted to create a cute card to go with, and this lime slice was perfect. I picked out three different color papers, and printed a sample lime slice from Google. I cut the sections out and just traced them onto the paper I wanted. Glued it all together and voila. Super cute lime card!

 Next stop: Margarita Baskets!DIY Lime Slice Card

DIY, Lifestyle

How Amazing is YOUR Dad?

My dad is amazing. I know you all think your dad is amazing, but really, after you see this project, you’ll see how amazing my dad is. I always knew I got my craftiness from my mother, but after I saw the end result of this project, I started to reconsider my origins.

Usually I welcome any and all family talents. To be honest, I’ve searched high and low for anything that I could claim my family did better than any other family. I came up pretty much empty handed, unless you consider a few unflattering things. My family definitely is louder than most families, they drink more, and they argue more. Seriously. My uncles didn’t speak to my aunts for decades (and vice versa). I have cousins I barely know.

But my family also makes the most amazing candy (my grandma’s toffee recipe is TOP SECRET). They have more fun than most families. They sincerely care about each other (well usually, unless you’re on someone’s bad side). They might not have a lot of wealth, but they’re genuinely good people. I consider myself lucky to come from them, good or bad.

That being said, my parents are both very creative people in their own ways. My mom drew the blue prints for her house that my step-dad built for her. Himself. If you give my mom a few color ideas, she’ll have your house looking like it stepped out of a show on HGTV. My dad is handy. He can pick up a hammer and create anything. And that’s what he did. He picked up a hammer and built the most amazing fire pit I’ve ever seen. I’ve really got to step up my game in the creative department after this.DIY Campfire SwingsNote: My dad did follow instructions. I don’t know which ones exactly, but you can find some similar here.

Lifestyle

24 Hours – Complaint Free

If at first you don't succeedI lasted one minute. One whole minute. Then I mentioned something about something that I don’t like. Which might appear to be pretty much everything. Or is that just because it’s only Wednesday and I’d prefer that it’s Friday so I can spend the weekend relaxing at home, alone, where I still don’t really like anyone? Especially that pesky apartment manager. She’s the worst.

I really thought I could do it. I thought I could strain myself and just not complain for a whole twenty-four hour block. What was I thinking? Then I thought that if I could just not talk for twenty-four hours, I could really win this competition I started with myself. That was even more moronic. I couldn’t go five minutes without speaking even if you bribed me with a cheeseburger. I’d finish the burger in 4 minutes and have at least one whole minute to discuss the highs and lows of said burger.

But I’m going to try again. Because when you fall, you’re supposed to get back up on that bike seat right? Did I mention that I don’t like bike seats? They’re so uncomfortable. Couldn’t they just be a little bigger? Is that considered complaining?

I think I need clarification on what a complaint is exactly. The formal definition is just a little hard to understand. It leaves too much to the imagination. Maybe it’s just me, but I want a loophole. I want to be able to say that I don’t like something without being judged. You’re probably judging me already. Oh well. Join the club.

So go ahead. Tell me your complaints. What’s bothering you today? I’ll do my best to listen to your complaints without judging. Which essentially means I’ll totally judge you too. At least we’ll both be members of the “people who can’t go 24 hours without complaining” club. As long as I’m not there alone. I hate being alone. Is that a complaint?

Birthday's, DIY, Lifestyle

Are You Funny Enough for Your Own Facebook Book?

Turn Your Facebook Statuses Into a Book!You know those moments in life when you know you’ve just come up with a life-changing idea? Like Mark Zuckerberg when he stole created Facebook, Steve Jobs when he started Apple, or that loser guy that created Snapchat (and then subsequently did not sell it for seven billion dollars). My idea is definitely in the same category.

Drumroll please!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited about this project, I’ve been keeping my lips sealed for much too long (Since February, who says I can’t keep a secret?)! Of course, I had to wait for the gift to be given before I could write about it, because I completely expect that my brother is reading my blog posts daily. If he’s not, he shall be excommunicated from my family. Those are the rules, I’m simply here to enforce them.

My brother (he’s actually a brother-in-law, but after this gift I am sure I’ll be promoted to real-life-sister) is turning 30 today and is quite honestly amazing. KD is one of the funniest men I know, and that’s not just because he’s family. Because he is family. And he’s special. That’s what my mother-in-law says anyway, so it must be true.

For KD’s birthday I wanted to come up with something amazing. Spectacular. Fabulous. Original. I contacted Mr. Zuckerberg, Mr. Jobs, and Mr. Loser Guy for ideas, but they couldn’t help me. Something about their ideas not being original….

Finally the light bulb went off: He has me laughing my butt off (if only literally) every single day while I read his Facebook status updates, so why not publish a book with every single one since he started Facebook? I mean, it might take me ten months, but he’s worth it right?

I got to work:

Super Easy Steps

1. Copy/Paste all statuses/photos into a Word doc (KD’s were over 300 pages!) (Seriously…sometimes 3x a day?!?!)

2. Format and resize photos to your liking (I only chose the really important ones…like every photo that I’m in!)

3. Save as a PDF

4. Upload to Lulu.com

5. Print and ship (less than $20 total!)Turn Your Facebook Statuses Into a Book!Side Note: I just want to say that I completely understand how Mr. Guy must have felt when he decided not to sell Snapchat for SEVEN BILLION DOLLARS. I felt the same way in 1997 when someone offered me $500 for a Beanie Baby. I knew that it would only increase in value. Thank God I didn’t sell it. It’s taking up valuable space in my grandmother’s basement.