Staying Home Sawyer

Real Life Living on a Real Life Budget

DIY, Lifestyle

You’ve Been Ditched. Ding Dong Ditched.

Ding Dong Ditch // Free Printable // Hostess Ding Dong TreatsWe’ve all been there. Ditched. At least once or twice (or too many times to count). Trust me, someday the right one will come along and sweep you off your feet! Or just buy you dinner. If you’re lucky maybe he’ll throw in dessert. You get the point.

Until then, just hope that when you’re ditched it’s a little more friendly. As in Ding Dong Ditched. Remember when you were an innocent little (bratty) child? Remember when you ding dong ditched the elderly neighbor lady who probably exerted her daily allowance of energy to open the door, only to find that there was no one there? What a brat you were.

Me, I was so much nicer than that. It probably had something to do with not being invited to play with all the cool kids who actually ding dong ditched people, but who’s story is this?

In tribute to my uncoolness youth, I have to prove to myself that I CAN be cool. What’s cooler than ding dong ditching as an adult? DING DONG ditching. Get it? With real Ding Dongs! (Am I the only person laughing out loud at the words Ding Dongs?)Ding Dong Ditch // Free Printable // Hostess Ding Dong TreatsI’m just going to throw together a quick little treat, and politely drop it off at my neighbors front door. You know, the ones that don’t use a walker to get around, who won’t be too put out by a knock on the door. The ones who are not diabetic, so they’ll be able to enjoy this ditch. I’ll just print out the free Ding Dong Ditch Printable, hole punch a few holes, and use curling ribbon to secure it to the Ding Dongs. I wouldn’t want those Ding Dongs to go anywhere would I?!Ding Dong Ditch // Free Printable // Hostess Ding Dong Treats

Birthday's, DIY

I want my cake. And I’m going to eat it.

DIY Candle Birthday CardYou can’t have your cake and eat it too.

Why not? How much sense does that make? So you’re saying you’re going to put a piece of cake in front of my face and tell me that I can’t eat it too? I mean, that just doesn’t make much sense. Unless of course you’re planning on replacing the cake with a cheeseburger. Then it makes more sense, and I won’t eat the cake. Can I please have a 32 oz beer with that cheeseburger too? Or fine, I’ll settle for an ice-filled Pepsi. Oh, and I’d like fries too. The good kind, maybe curly fries? Ketchup too, don’t forget. And since I’m getting a cheeseburger, can it please have extra pickles? Maybe a few sliced on the side as well. I won’t go overboard or anything, but please don’t forget that I like my burgers medium. Unless it’s a really good restaurant, in which case I like medium rare. I am not trying to be high maintenance either, but I will need extra napkins just in case it’s a good juicy cheeseburger. And just a note: I love good juicy cheeseburgers. You’re the best. Have I told you that today?

So now that you know what I want for my birthday (I mean, how much easier could it be?), what do you want for yours? Oh, a card you say? I can do that! And easily too. Don’t worry, even though it will only take me five to ten minutes to make this card, I’ll make it last at least twenty just so you get good sweat and tears out of it. I wouldn’t want you to feel ripped off. Especially since you gave me that amazingly juicy perfect cheeseburger.

I’ll just take white cardstock, fold it in half, cut it to size. I’ll take two different pieces of designed paper and cut them to size as well (one slightly smaller than the other), and glue them to the cardstock. Then I’ll take a one inch strip of the bottom paper and glue it atop the card. I’ll take three different colored candles, tie a little bow around them, and hot glue them to the card. See, like I said, easy and fast! I mean…..long. It took me forever. I put good sweat into it. Don’t worry though, I didn’t drip any onto the card. Because it’s the perfect card for you.

DIY, Home Decor, Lifestyle

Compromise: House Divided!

DIY NFL Wreath House DividedMarriage is all about compromise. When your husband clearly has made a bad life decision by choosing the Chicago Bears as his favorite NFL team, you have to compromise. Even though I decided to still marry him, this was clearly not the deciding factor. My mom always told me that I’ll never find a perfect man, and boy was she right. If it wasn’t for this one (HUGE) factor, he would be perfect. For me. Just don’t tell him, I don’t want it to go to his head.

Born and raised in Green Bay, Wisconsin left little to be decided for me when it came to football. Although there are (a few) random deserters that choose to cheer for other less worthy teams, I have always loved my team (everyone from Green Bay calls it their team. It is. It’s the city’s team). Green Bay could possibly be one of the greatest hometowns to be from and I’m the first to acknowledge that. Did you know that the Packers come from the smallest NFL city, with the next smallest having almost one million more people? Green Bay’s population is little over 200,000 – and on Packer Sundays the whole town shows up to support their team. If you drive around in a different part of the city, it will appear deserted. Even when I brought my husband to Lambeau Field for the Packers/Bears game (decked out in his Bears jersey), he was welcomed and treated like part of the family from the fans. He loved it (it could have had something to do with the amount of alcohol consumed…that’s another factor at the GB games).

When I was blissfully single, I wanted to hang a wreath on my front door showcasing my loyalty. I created a simple wreath in green and gold, hung it on the front door, and didn’t think twice.Green Bay Packers Wreath DIY NFLThen I got married. And the big word “Compromise” came into play. Even if I had tried to hang the wreath on the front door, my husband would have tossed it into the trash. So instead, I went to work. We have a large flag that boasts “House Divided” with the logos of our teams, so why shouldn’t the wreath be divided too?

DIY NFL Wreath House Divided 2I took off half of the green and gold, added blue and orange, and called it even. Don’t tell my husband, but this wreath is actually more fun than the last one. Who am I kidding: don’t tell my mom, dad, friends, or anyone from Green Bay either.

To make your own wreath just buy a foam wreath in the size you’d like. Buy a bunch of different ribbons in the colors of your team; look for different textures and sizes to add depth. Take a piece of ribbon, tie a knot around the wreath with knot facing forward, and cut to length you’d like. You can continue to do this or you can untie the piece of ribbon and use it to measure out all the other pieces ahead of time. Remember, thicker ribbon will need to be longer than thinner ribbon. I had a perfect little Packers ornament to hang from mine, but it’s not necessary. If you have a piece to hang, simply tie it into the knot at the top of the wreath.

DIY, Lifestyle

Are You Ready for Some FOOTBALL?!

NFL Basket // DIY Gift for Football LoverAre you ready for some football?! In our house, opening week is kind of a big deal. Well, along with every other week of the season. And every other sports season. But the NFL is a big one in our house. Why, you may ask? Because I was born and bred in Green Bay, WI. My husband, on the other hand, is a die-hard Chicago Bears fan.  We had to compromise when we were married: For every one piece of Bears paraphernalia displayed, an equal sized Packers piece can be displayed (and vice versa). This rule is constantly challenged during the Packers/Bears weeks. So two (and if we’re lucky, three) weeks a year, our house gets really competitive. I hide his ugly orange and blue blankets and he tells me my green and gold things need to go.

One year, while we were still dating, I thought I’d have a little fun with him for Opening Week. I put together this basket with all sorts of teasing notes attached to items. I made them directly tied to Packers vs. Bears, and to say he loved it is an understatement. Since you might not relate to either team, I re-did all the tags to be neutral, so you can make your own Opening Week NFL Basket.

Ingredients for a Touchdown of a Basket (See what I did there?):

A Snickers Bar (For when others Snicker at your loss!)

A Crunch Bar (It’s Crunch Time!)

100 Grand Bar (Winning is just as good as 100 Grand!)

Gummy Fish (Your Team O’Fish-ally Lost!)

Rolo’s (Sometimes you just have to Rolo with the punches!)

Take 5 Bar (Take 5 for being a good sport!)

Starburst (In case you need to Burst into tears!)

Whoppers (That was a Whopper of a game!)

Tissues (In case of Loss: Break Plastic!)

You can download all the tags here: NFL Candy Bar Tags.

There were several other things I added without notes as well. Chips, salsa, pretzels, popcorn, football glasses, football coozie, and a football tray. I found all the football stuff at The Dollar Tree (big shocker) so they were cheap. One of my favorite things I added was the Gummy “BEARS.” I went to the candy store in the mall (you know the one: they have every candy you can think of in little plastic containers, and every time you walk by you wonder who buys it?), and I picked out each letter: B-E-A-R-S. I put them all together in a little bag and had that as the “centerpiece” of the basket. You should be able to find the same gummy letters for all the teams if you want to go the distance for the Touchdown.

Lastly, I really surprised him with the final piece. I secretly had photos taken (just by a friend) in Chicago Bears clothing (YUCK!). I had a puzzle printed from Wal-Mart (only $12.96) using the photo. It came in a neat little box, which I added to the basket. He had to put the puzzle together to see me “rooting” for his team. Although I will never officially root for his team, he smiled that day knowing he had blackmail.