I am not athletic in the least. I blame my parents, because who else could I blame? I humiliated myself for years playing softball on a city league, and then made my debut on the JV team in high school. Yeah, that’s right. I skipped right to the JV team. Apparently, I played the best softball of my life during tryouts. The only shining moment I have ever had (as well as, will ever have), in my life, happened on that JV team.

Paint yourself a picture here: I was the shortest, smallest girl on the team. I weighed slightly more than Mary-Kate Olsen after her cocaine anorexia problem. Okay maybe I was a little bigger than that, but you get the point. My team is pretty good, which essentially means I don’t play often. Or at all. So imagine my surprise when Coach puts me in! I ran out onto that field excited that I finally had a chance to shine. And shine, I did.

When it was my turn to bat, I grabbed a slugger and walked up to the plate. The pitcher wound up, threw the ball, and I hit it out of the park.

I wish. It was a strike. Then came another strike.

And then it happened: on the third pitch, I swung with all my strength, and hit that ball! And not only did the ball go flying, but so did the bat. Or rather, half of it. Yes, I broke the aluminum bat IN HALF! As I stood there staring at my bat, realizing that I did have some athletic ability after all (no, the bat was not dysfunctional), I forgot to run. Obviously it could have been a home run if I hadn’t forgotten to run, so I only made it to first. But boy, I got on base, and I broke a bat in half. If that wasn’t the best moment of my life, nothing would top it.

Even though I knew I was pretty much Superman stuck in a teenage girls body, Coach disagreed with me. She let me take one photo with my bat, and sent it back into the manufacturers. As she said, it was clearly defective. That was the downfall of my athleticism. I never tried out again.

So what is the point of this story? Nothing really, other than it goes along with this adorable baseball serving plate that I made. I may not be athletic, but I can craft. And I’m pretty darn good at it, if I do say so myself. Take that, Coach!

To make this serving plate: Buy a plate and a circular vase (from the Dollar Tree). I used a can of white spray paint and a can of clear spray paint ($1 each at Wal-mart). Use hot glue to glue the vase to the bottom of the plate. It doesn’t have to be perfect, because no one will see the under-side (Don’t worry, I won’t call your plate defective). Spray it white and when it’s dry, spray a clear coat over. Use a red Sharpie to draw the baseball stripes on the plate and vase. I traced them with a pencil first. That’s it! So easy, so cheap, and sooooo not defective.